June 15, 2007. Here we are folks at the big main event. In this corner, weighing in at 65 pounds, wearing the grey trunks and white top is our champion, Toby the Wonder Dog. In the challenger’s corner, weighing in at an awesome 110 pounds, wearing black trunks and a brown top, is Jet the Sheppard.
But, first a little preamble folks. Tom and I went to the park this morning for our usual run. We were out there in the cold, wet, rain chasing the darn tennis ball again. Convince me that this is June 15 and less than a week away from the first day of summer. Tom was in a winter jacket, rain gear and wearing winter gloves. Global warming, my big furry butt.
Anyway, the rest of the day was uneventful until Renee arrived. After dinner we went for our usual neighbourhood walk. Jet is a big, old German Sheppard which belongs to a fellow that Tom plays hockey with. It was only late last season that they discovered that they lived near each other.
Whenever we go for our walk past Jet’s house, he comes growling, barking and gnashing his teeth to the front gate. I usually pick up my pace to get out of his sight. Today was no different, except that when Jet came running to the gate, he hit it at full speed and the locking mechanism broke. The gate swung open and Jet was a fur covered razor blade in full flight.
He immediately burst through the gate and began pursuing me. He got in a few licks at me, but I gave as good as I got. Renee was pulling me away from him and distracting him by screaming his name. Every time he heard it, he hesitated. Tom meanwhile kept stepping into Jet’s path to try and divert him. No such luck, he just veered around Tom and kept coming.
This guy is a massive land shark; no doubt about it and he meant to make a meal out of me. Renee and a neighbour managed to distract Jet long enough for Tom and I to make an escape. I was bleeding from the mouth area, but as they say in the movies, it was just a flesh wound. Put me in coach, I feel good.
By the time we got around the corner and Tom and Renee checked me over, the bleeding had stopped and I only had the leftover blood on my chin. No harm, no foul. Renee phoned Tom’s friend to let him know that Jet was free and wandering the neighbourhood. The final tally on this championship bout came out something like this. Judge Renee declared it a 140-139 advantage Jet, Judge Tom declared it 141-138 advantage Toby and the anonymous neighbour declared the bout 140-140 draw.
The final outcome by score is a tie. There will not likely be a rematch anytime soon.
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