The Frog Croaked

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES OF INJURY AND AUTOPSY - NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

April 10, 2007. Today started out like any other day and little did I know what tragedy would befall a very close friend later in the day. Tom and I went for our usual one hour run in the park today. I got tired about that time and just flopped down with the ball, about 30 feet away from Tom. When he asked if I wanted to go home, I just picked up my ball and headed there.

Later on in the day, we went to meet Renee for lunch and we got to meet up with our favourite postie. As soon as I see her, my bum starts to wiggle and I can’t wait for the pats. Well, that isn’t quite true, I can’t wait for my cookies. Today she gave me two.

During the walk home, I just decided to take a rest every block. To emphasize my point, I just laid down as we were walking. Tom coaxed me home finally, but the 15 minute walk took almost 40 minutes to complete. I’m just really tired today and I zonked out once we got in the house.

I spent the rest of the day just lying around, watching TV and sleeping. Late in the evening I was playing with my best friend, Mr. Frog. His croaker packed it in a couple of weeks back and little did I know, is that he would literally croak tonight.

I was tossing him around the room like I usually do and had a good grip on his middle, when I heard an ominous crunch. Mr. Frog never let out a sound or a whimper, and I thought he would be ok. That’s when I noticed that he was lying kind of limp.

I think I broke something in him. He wasn’t looking too good, so I started CPR by doing chest compressions on him. Nothing was happening except that sickening crunching sound. It looks like Doctor Toby is going to have to operate.

I pierced his back with one long canine tooth. I then proceeded to open him up for some direct heart massage. I got in there as best I could, and I could feel some tingling from his batteries on my tongue. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t save him. He just had the stuffing ripped out of him. It looked like a massacre in here.

Oh, my! What have I done? I killed the little fellow. What will I ever do? Mr. Frog carried me through some great times and some not so great times. He was there for me when I got banished to the other room. How will I ever carry on without him? Oh well, time for some food and a drink of water. Farewell to you Mr. Frog, wherever your journey now takes you. Cross over the rainbow bridge my friend.